What's On Your List?

I hear a lot about relationships daily. Either someone is complaining about their significant other, or someone is complaining that they are single and all the options suck lol. It makes me wonder if anyone actually knows what they truly want out of a significant other. It may seem ridiculous, but I truly believe that it is important to write out what you want from a partner. The things you are willing to put up with and the things you are not willing to put up with. You need to have a clear understanding of your expectations before you entered into a committed relationship.

Next does your list even make sense? Are you listing things that have no real value? Are your deal breakers reasonable? Sometimes our expectations aren’t realistic. We have to set realistic goals. No one is perfect, so if we look for perfection, we will remain single.

The other part to this is that you have to respect the other persons expectations and deal breakers. Sometimes that’s the hardest part because we are so concerned with what we want, that we forget to consider what they may want. We can’t expect someone to meet every single request, but we don’t have to be what they need.

Now, making a list does not mean that if the person does not have 100% of the things we can’t date them. No one will meet 100% of the items on your list. What are you willing to deal with? Is 80% realistic, 75%? That’s important for you to figure out. Are you settling for 50%? This is something that we all need to determine.

Too often we go into relationships blind and way too fast. We don’t give ourselves an opportunity to heal from the previous situation and to regroup. It’s important to give yourself that time to figure out who you are now and how your last relationship has affected you. Everyone leaves a mark, whether good or bad, so what did your last partner leave with you? What do you need to truly heal from before you move on? Have you reflected on what went wrong and what mistakes were made and more importantly what you learned from those mistakes? All of this should be done before you even entertain another person.

Everyone deserves to be loved by the right person. However, there are things we should do before we allow ourselves to be in a relationship. We need to make sure that when we commit, we are the best versions of ourselves. Nothing will last if we enter into a commitment before we are ready mentally, emotionally, and physically. Get yourself together first and be sure about what you want.