A New Place

Moving to a new place is hard. This journey has been like no other. I have dealt with a plethora of emotions. There is the obvious one...fear. The fear of the unknown. Not knowing what this place will be like, what work looks like, what meeting people will be like. Yes, I know that God had not given me the spirit of fear, but sometimes the flesh gets in the way of all that. I never thought in a million years, that this is where I would end up. Having to start over isn't easy. Many of the things that have given me peace and comfort throughout my life are no longer with me in this new space. That has for sure been one of the hardest parts. Being able to go to a familiar place and be at peace can't happen just yet in a new place. To venture out to find new places is uncomfortable for me.

One of the other hard things to come to terms with is realizing that the people that I thought were my friends, really don't exist anymore. It's like that old saying, out of sight, out of mind. When no one calls to check on you or to see how you're doing, it's hurtful. I have felt so alone at times and so down. I am always feeling like I have to hold everything in because I don't have that ride-or-die friend that I can confide in. When you move away, you realize that you didn't have good friends in the first place. Now, realizing that I have to get out of my box to meet new people scares me. Anyone who truly knows me, knows I'm very much an introvert. I like being at home with the people I love. I like hanging out in a very small circle. I don't go too far outside of that. Thankfully, on the flip side of this, I'm growing in that area. Moving around has taught me that I am stronger than I thought I was. It has taught me that I can interact with new people and it's okay. Do I still have issues trusting new people? Absolutely! It's a process and I know it will get easier. I look forward to the day that it isn't so uncomfortable for me. I love being in a relationship where I can talk about my feelings, but sometimes it isn't easy for me to talk about certain things with him. Sometimes I just want that good girlfriend that I can share things with. I miss having that outside accountability partner.

Now, everything about moving around isn't terrible. There are some great things that I have received out of this transition. First, I get to experience an environment that I've never been in, and for that, I am grateful. I'm now a homeowner! That is a blessing that I certainly don't take for granted. We are truly blessed! My son gets to experience being in different seasons and seeing what it's like to have a real winter during the holidays (even though I hate the cold lol). I have met a couple of really great people whom I am starting to get used to calling friends. I am grateful for those new relationships. I am becoming more independent because I don't have family that I can just call to come over for a minute. I am having to deal without that village close by. Yes, they will come when I need them, but most of the time it's just my little family and I.

Another great thing about being alone is that I have more time to think and be creative. I truly took advantage of that time this summer. Not having to go to work and being able to spend some time alone has helped me to get back to my business and create some great things. With God, I know I can accomplish even more. I have no doubts about that! This summer has been a great one, and this transition isn't turning out so bad.

I am truly grateful for the new experiences. I am thankful for every lesson learned thus far, and those that are still to come. Is being away from "home" easy, absolutely not. Do I miss what I know as "home" of course! However, I got this! I have grown in a way I couldn't have imagined. I am killing this mom thing, and I think I'm a pretty dang good wife, My son is thriving and happy and that means I'm happy. God has given me this journey for a reason, and I am ready to see what else He has in store for me. At the end of the day, I thank God!