Don't Let Your Pain Control Your Actions

When you’ve gone through a failed marriage, you learn to appreciate when you have something good. I’ve heard many people who have been divorced talk about how they don’t want to date seriously, that they just want to have some fun, and that’s cool if that’s what you want. However, I ask this question… What does having fun entail? Are you now allowing different personalities and spirits into your personal space? Are you now trying to be a player, because you’re hurt or broken? Are you so bitter that you feel that dating multiple people will so how take away the pain? Now I am not saying you should jump into a serious relationship either. I truly believe that every situation is different. I challenge you to think about what you truly want. I want you to truly think and figure out who you are post-divorce. Who have you grown into, because of your failed marriage? Don’t be so quick to date or have sex out of your pain. At the same time, don’t reject the one God has for you because of your pain and past either. For me, if I had taken out what my ex did on the next person, I would not have found true happiness. My soulmate came at a time that I least expected it. I was totally caught off guard. The idea of rejecting him at first sounded great to be honest. However, I took a step back one day and really thought about what I wanted. I knew that I still wanted a healthy marriage. Yes, my failed marriage scarred me for sure. It caused pain that I didn’t know was possible. Even still, I still believe in marriage. I truly believe that God created marriage for so many amazing reasons. I knew that even though I was hurting, I still wanted someone to love me the way that my ex never did. I knew that I still wanted children and to have a lifelong partner who I would enjoy spending the rest of my life with. I prayed that God would show me clearly what was the right decision for me to make. I wrote down everything that I wanted and I sat back and waited for it to manifest. Now for me, it happened quickly, but that may not be your story. Whatever your story becomes, be wise, be prayerful, and be patient. Don’t give up and don’t allow your hurt and frustration control your actions. You may be missing out on something amazing if you do. For me, stepping out on faith and going for what I felt was God’s blessing was the best decision that I have ever made. I now have a new level of appreciation for healthy relationships. I now value my relationship more than anything. I see him differently than I have anyone else in my life. I promise you that life after divorce can be so sweet. Don’t throw in the towel. Be patient, and everything you desire will come. Remember, don’t ever let your pain control your actions. Step back, regroup, and move on. Write down what you expect from this new chapter in your life. Seal it with a prayer and have faith.