When Life Throws You Lemons...

Everyday people get married to the love of their lives and stand in front of God, their friends, and their families and vow to love their spouse forever. But, I wonder how many people really think about the words they speak on such a special day. In sickness in health, for better or worse...REALLY? See never could I have imagined the depths of those vows. I never imagined that sickness would come and stay or that worse could be long term.

I had to be around 21 when it all happened. Barely a year into marriage and I knew something had to be wrong. All of a sudden I find myself in a hospital dealing with a spouse who had all of a sudden acquired some unknown disease. The feeling that I felt during this time is indescribable. At 21 how much do I really know? I don’t know much about anything. Finally hearing the diagnosis was devastating. What was I going to do? Now I’m a young wife, clueless and now having to deal with taking care of another adult. My life was changed forever!

The hardest part of this journey was to put my feelings aside. How could I be upset or scared when I wasn’t the one who was sick? How could I put that weight on him? So I would bury it daily. Every time I had a bad thought or got depressed, I buried it. I didn’t feel right sharing with someone. I didn’t want my spouse to feel any worse than he already did, so I kept silent. All I could do was pray and try to keep his spirit lifted. I had no idea what was in store for me.

Each day things slowly grew worse. I slowly became the wife and the husband. I had to do things that most women never have to do. I had to learn daily how to be a caretaker. There was no class for what to do when you get married young and your husband falls ill. There wasn’t a guide on how to do this job. This was my life and I had to figure it out.

(Excerpt from my book)